“Her: You’re gonna wear that shirt?
Me: Yes.
Her: Why don’t you wear the shirt I got you?
Me: What’s wrong with this one?
Her: It has a hole in it.
Me: It’s a small hole, no one notices.
Her: I noticed.
Me: Why are you trying to change me?
Her: I’m not trying to change you, I’m trying to improve you.
Me: Like Hitler tried to improve Germany by ridding it of Jews?
Her: So I’m Hitler?
Me: To my Jew shirt you are.
Her: So your argument is that it’s a small hole and I’m Hitler?
Me: Also the shirt you got me is pink.
Her: Not confident enough in your manhood to wear pink?
Me: Well we haven’t had sex in over a week.
Her: Whose fault is that? I wanted to yesterday.
Me: I had my wisdom tooth pulled yesterday.
Her: So?
Me: So it hurt like hell.
Her: I think pink suits you just fine.
Me: You’re mean.
Her: I’m Hitler.”
